I made a little pumpkin,
i loved the little touch.
it was happy, it was smiling
i liked it very much.
it had two teeth, a little nose
two eyes and a smile
the bad part was that i couldn't see it far away
well... i would say about a mile.
I named it ''lil' pumpkin'' put in a candle
it looked very nice,
he wasn't very big, not very small
so the name ''lil'' was 'cause of the size
well i'm gonna write a little more,
it won't be very long.
but i'm gonna say HI to lil' pumpkin
before the town bell rings ''DING DONG''
but the bad thing was
that he was starting to rot,
so i had to throw him in the dumpster
i'm gonna miss him a lot.
now there is no pumpkin
and no candle light
but i'm sorta happy,
because in the dark, he gave me a fright!!
THE END
UltimateChaos
It is an interesting poem, themed with halloween I suppose. Some of the lines rhyme. It's written about a common event that we can all relate to, pumpkins rot and must be gotten rid of.
I suppose I will have to consider the poem a loose freestyle, because I cannot detect a consistent rhyme or meter scheme.
That being said, I would love to see some unique perspective, on how you experienced the events that would be different than anyone else. Maybe throw in some sensory details? How the pumpkin smelled when it was starting to rot, what kind of smile the pumpkin had.
I really like the ending though. The rhyme is catchy, and it wraps up the poem nicely.
Good luck with future writings.
duhidiot
thanks!