OH, MAN! I knew you were going to write poetry because you were upset about your movies getting blammed! man, I've seen summa your stuff, and I tell ya, complaining about it on your news log isn't going to solve it! now that I've seen your art, as I've said before, IMPROVE IT, PLEASE!!! and get better at flash.....lastly, don't draw stuff in MS paint, that's what drawing in flash is for!
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UltimateChaos
It is an interesting poem, themed with halloween I suppose. Some of the lines rhyme. It's written about a common event that we can all relate to, pumpkins rot and must be gotten rid of.
I suppose I will have to consider the poem a loose freestyle, because I cannot detect a consistent rhyme or meter scheme.
That being said, I would love to see some unique perspective, on how you experienced the events that would be different than anyone else. Maybe throw in some sensory details? How the pumpkin smelled when it was starting to rot, what kind of smile the pumpkin had.
I really like the ending though. The rhyme is catchy, and it wraps up the poem nicely.
Good luck with future writings.
duhidiot
thanks!